An emotionally unavailable husband or an emotionally distant husband is someone who has difficulty in understanding or relating to emotions mainly of his wife and also of his family and even doesn’t recognise his feelings, People suffering from emotional unavailability feel uncomfortable and irritated when anybody tries to involve their feelings and don’t open up quickly. When confronted about their emotions they get defensive and even offended. Emotionally unavailable people are at high risk of feeling isolated, lonely and depressed.
Many people are struggling with an emotionally unavailable partner which makes it important for both partners to discuss the reason and signs behind this kind of behaviour and find a constructive solution to this problem so that one can be aware of how to deal with an emotionally unavailable husband.
Why people are emotionally unavailable
Understanding the main reason behind this kind of behaviour can lead to constructive solutions and make it easy for both the wife and the husband to collectively work towards a healthy relationship. Possible reasons why some husbands are emotionally unavailable are identified and discussed below.
1. Past toxic relationships
A painful past breakup cheating previous girlfriends or spouses or extremely toxic past friendships are strong reasons enough as to why people turn to emotionally unavailable husbands in relationships. People with past toxic relationships think twice even thrice about getting emotionally attached to anyone as they have been through the bad phase of emotional trauma and suffering.
2. Emotionally neglected childhood
Childhood trauma and emotionally neglected upbringing impact a person’s mental health and emotional availability. They surround a person with fear and loneliness, which is reason enough for their emotionally unavailable behaviour which turn them into emotionally unavailable husband.
3. Are narcissists in nature
People who are narcissists have a fake arrogance and self-proclaimed sense of importance and cannot understand and relate to others’ feelings, emotions and care they are narcissists by nature which explains their emotionally unavailable behaviour and emotionally unavailable husbands.
Signs of an emotionally unavailable husband
Detecting early signs can help identify the root problems and pave the way for a constructive solution. The behavioural pattern of a person can make it easy to understand early signs of an emotionally unavailable husband which can be understood by the behaviour below.
1. Stuburon behaviour
When a husband doesn’t believe in taking advice from their partner in important decisions which affect both partners sticks to his irrational decisions and acts stubborn and unapologetic then it is a signal of an emotionally unavailable husband.
2. Follow the materialistic philosophy
Many emotionally unavailable husbands believe that emotions are for the weak so they adopt the materialistic philosophy to hold and pursue power, position and money which excites them more than small silly emotions.
3. He must be introverted
An emotionally unavailable husband doesn’t express or interact much, They lack self-confidence and self-esteem and struggle to show emotions and put their point across, shynness is so over them that many have not seen them laughing, crying or even being expressive about most of the thing, they are emotionless and just want to be with themselves and are comfortable that way.
4. Run away from real-life conversations
Ghosting and gaslighting by a husband in a relationship is a sure-shot sign of an emotionally unavailable husband, they want to distance themself from you, avoid taking your calls and messages and ignore or avoid real-life conversations and healthy discussions as they do not relate with your emotional vision, where conversation and communication end then relationships are bound to break.
Also Read:10 Signs of Gaslighting In a Relationship
5. Diversive and evasive in talks
You answer a straight question but you get a weird answer, just to divert the main concern and avoid giving any response, it signals that your husband is least interested in any emotional talk and signals an emotionally unavailable husband.
6. Lacks enthusiasm and energy
When people Lack excitement, empathy, compassion and zeal in relationships and are afraid of trying new things and opening up in relationships rather than just dropping a dull spell without any joy on relationships then the intentions are pretty clear that your partner is least interested in you and is an emotionally unavailable husband.
7. He must be highly ambitious/workaholic
An emotionally unavailable husband sometimes has High ambitions, and a strong drive to achieve higher success, leaving less room for family time and tends to hijack the small happiness and emotions. Emotionally unavailable partners are seen to have priorities for their work instead of family time and commitments and they tend to work long hours love being a workaholic and participate less in family or relationship ties.
8. Dont stand by your decisions
For a wife her husband is the biggest support system she has, but when the husband does not support you or does not stand by your decisions and rarely encourages you and your efforts then surely it hurts and breaks your confidence and self-esteem and the belief in the relationships, which leads to all sort o negative thoughts and toxicity in the relationships.
9. Inconsistent in Commitment
They give you their word and promise a commitment but mostly they fail to be consistent, usually, they resort to future faking in a relationship and act less empathetic to what impact and feel one is going through when the husband doesn’t keep their promises, Inconsitinment in commitment is a big red flag in a relationship and should be dealt with a constructive solution for the better.
10. Enjoy loneliness
When a husband enjoys leisure activities alone and loves masterdating frequently like wanting to travel alone, wanting to eat alone, wanting to play alone to sum it up wanting to be left alone then it gives a sign of an emotionally unavailable husband.
11. Show Sarcastic behaviour
When your husband often resorts to sarcasm and sees your achievements, concerns and emotional relevance as a joke rather than expressing raw human emotions such as joy, sadness, anger, disappointment or fear then for sure he is heartless and lacks emotional connection and are signs of an emotionally unavailable husband.
12. Prefer physical intimacy over emotional intimacy
Physical intimacy is important in a happy marriage but setting aside emotional intimacy in the process is a big no for any relationship, both physical and emotional intimacy are equally important to sustain a healthy relationship.
13. Extra-marital affair
Infidelity and cheating in a relationship also cause a husband to be distant from the current relationship and detached by all emotional means, These types of signs are scary and may lead to the walkaway wife syndrome and should dealt with immediately concern or breakup is imminent.
How to deal with an emotionally unavailable husband
No matter how bad the relationship is, we should gather the will to change and deal with the unwanted situations with our right actions and recovery will be just a few steps away.
1. Put forward your relationship expectations bluntly
Speak bluntly about what you expect from your partner and the relationship, though expectations should not be unrealistic, it will give him a set target or goal to achieve and will try to work in that direction.
2. Seeking joint therapy
Discussing emotions mutually or seeing joint therapy sessions is always advisable to clear all the hesitations, doubts and negativity if any. It will help identify the root cause which is holding back them in the relationship and will pave the way to resolve issues one by one.
3. Be patient and give them time to improve
Everything heals with time, so don’t rush for immediate results, and give your partner the time and space to rebuild his confidence and reinvent his emotional connect, so that he slowly and steadily adapts to the desired level of expectation.
4. Try to identify the root cause
If the root cause of any kind of phobia, past hysteria or weakness is identified early then it becomes easy to mend its ways and both partners can constructively work on improving the relationship.
5. Don’t do the shame blame game be empathetic
The idea is to resolve the emotionally available issue amicably rather than publicising the issue and involving family friends and the public, if one resorts to the shame game then the intentions altogether take a dangerous turn which makes the problem even worse for an emotionally unavailable husband.
Conclusion
All relationships have their issues, struggles and solutions and emotional unavailability is just one issue of the many problems people face which can be resolved with the will to change for good. Being less emotional does not necessarily make one a bad person, one must also understand the root cause and their life struggle and the performance pressure to run the family and life. Be your husband’s strength, and progressive counterpart and work mutually to resolve and overcome the emotionally unavailable behaviour, It is just one needs a bit of love, care and good understanding to open up about the good things in a relationship.
Q&A
Q1. Can emotional availability be fixed?
Of course yes with true bonding, better communication and the will to change and sacrifice for the person you love, emotional availability can be fixed.
Q2. What is the Walkaway Wife Syndrome?
The Walkaway Wife Syndrome also sometimes referred to as the neglected wife syndrome, sudden wife leaving syndrome and the sudden divorce system are various terms often used to describe the spouse, usually the wife, who decides to end the marriage or relationship when feels unheard, neglected and insulted.
Q3. What is masterdating?
Masterdating is pampering oneself with quality time and engaging in self-care, self-gifting, solo vacations, and treats to sum it up enjoying one’s own company and loving yourself.
Q4. What is future faking in relationships?
Future faking means making false future promises and claims, it is a high-level manipulation by people to hide their failures, and guilt and get their evil intentions through to keep engaging their partner in their tangle and prevent them from leaving the relationship.
Q5. Should I stay with an emotionally unavailable partner?
Emotionally unavailability is a red flag in a relationship which is hard to live by, but the important decision of staying or not staying with an emotionally unavailable partner depends on how deeply you are attached to the relationship.