Fearful avoidant attachment, sometimes called disorganized attachment, is a behavior pattern in a relationship in which a person wants bonding, love, and acceptance yet they fear intimacy and distrust and avoid it. Fearful avoidant attachment is characterized by high levels of anxiety, People with this style encourage closeness at first and then retreat emotionally and physically when they start to feel vulnerable in the relationship.
Causes of fearful avoidant attachment
To understand any behavioral pattern one must understand the root cause of it, below are believed to be some causes of fearful avoidant attachment behavioral patterns.
Early childhood influence/ Abuse
It’s a high possibility that in people suffering from fearful avoidant attachment, at least one parent or caregiver exhibits frightening behavior which impacts and influences one’s behavior lifelong.
Borderline personality disorder
They are chances that Fearful avoidant attachment is correlated with a borderline personality disorder which points towards extreme fear of abandonment of relationship, Unhealthy self-esteem, difficulty in regulating emotions, and mood swings.
Signs of fearful avoidant attachment
Early signs can identify if a person is adopting a fearful avoidant attachment behavioral pattern, let’s understand the early signs of it.
Trust issues
People with fearful avoidant attachment jump into a relationship easily longing for a trustful relationship then suddenly they start doubting it and shy away from it. They suffer from trust issues and stay confused.
Sudden mood swings
People with fearful avoidant attachment behavioral patterns try to be vibrant and lively at one moment but suddenly suffer anxiety strokes and start feeling depressed and have low self-esteem the other moment. They are unpredictable at times with erratic mood swings.
Gamophobic
People with a fearful avoidant attachment may suffer from gamophobia, and fear of commitment, People with these types of syndrome are unpredictable and unreliable If you can’t commit to somebody you can’t be trustful to anybody.
Makeup breakup types
If the relationship gets too far and intimate, the person acts confused and unsure about the relationship and tries every types of breakups to get in and out of the relationship frequently.
Avoid codependency
People suffering from fearful avoidant attachment avoid codependency in the relationship, it’s not they don’t want it, but they fear losing the relationship and their independence and space.
Reluctant to share the deepest feeling
People in fearful avoidant attachment are introverted and feel uncomfortable sharing their feelings and space with their partner as anxiety looms large in their thoughts.
Egar to end the relationship
People with fearful avoidant attachment don’t eye the future of companionship and loyalty they can only adapt to a short-term relationship with always eager to break free of fear or anxiety.
Impact of fearful avoidant attachment
Life is action and reaction, if there is a behavioral pattern there are implications and impacts, less discuss the major impact of fearful avoidant attachment in our lives.
This can lead to depression
Fear, negative emotions, and social anxiety lead to extreme depression which impacts the well-being of a person drastically, Sometimes it creates mental health issues that are irresolvable.
End up in multiple failed relationships
They tend to rush into a new relationship because of elevated anxiety, and excitement for love and pleasure but they are unable to sustain in the long run because of elevated avoidance tendency and fear which put an abrupt end to the relationship, and the vicious cycle keeps repeating as the people doesn’t make effort to change the behavioral pattern of the fearful-avoidant attachment relationship.
How to overcome Fearful avoidant attachment
The good news is you can control and change your fearful avoidant attachment behavior with your conscious, intention, and practice. by working on the points below.
Value yourself
Recognize your priorities, and Start valuing yourself, sometimes it’s about only you, work on your decision power making and positive results will follow.
Consider therapy
Many times people with fearful avoidant attachment don’t know how to respond to emotional situations and anxiety they are in, it’s better to consult a therapist which can help you to boost your self-confidence and lower your insecurities and how to deal with situations in a healthier way.
Encourage socialization
Mix up with people, participate in events, and explore life, socialize yourself this will help you generate interest in things that make you happy, lower your anxiety level, and will give you a better take on life and living, you will gain confidence and awareness of to make better decisions for life.
Set define goals
Try to set defined goals to achieve them step by step at a comfortable pace it will help you evolve from a reactive approach to an adaptive approach, will make you feel relaxed and attached, and add value to life and relationship.
Challenge your inner critics
Meditate, invoke your inner consciousness, give time to the situation you are in, asses past experiences to judge the current situation, and overcome the fear within which will lead to a more strong healthy, and most important happy relationship.
Conclusion
Many people don’t realize that relationship problems are a pattern of erratic pattern and destructive thoughts, realize the problem, speak about your fear, and communicate with your partner, to get a sense of acceptance, if love is a mutual solution is not far away, give more time to the relationship grow which will bring confidence in the relationship. seek a counselor if the condition is extreme, Once you overcome the fear the behavior pattern starts to fade and become irrelevant with time, So there is a good life ahead once you start to take your problems head-on.
Q & A
Q1. Can a fearful avoidant fall in love?
Yes, but they may have difficulty opening up at first and adding confidence to the relationship, but if they can overcome this barrier, they can also be very passionate, romantic, and truthful in their relationship.
Q2. What sacres a fearful avoidant?
Fear of extreme intimacy and aftereffect of the relationships.
Q3. Do fearful avoidants get lonely?
Yes, sometimes they are even comfortable with this as their fear changes their pattern and priorities in life, it’s dangerous but in some cases also the solution.
Q4. What are fearful avoidant weaknesses?
They are less expressive, keep a low profile and always stay vulnerable, and with high anxiety.
Q5. Do fearful avoidants have friends?
They have few close friends but for them the fewer more the better as they can’t handle many attachments and emotions at one time.
