Resentment in relationships is normal, but knowing general signs of resentment in a relationship is even more important, Every Committed couple goes through resentment in a relationship at some point in time, and if the resentment feeling is left unattended and ignored then it can turn into extreme hatred which sometimes gets worse and relationship break eventually, therefore, Understanding The signs of resentment in a relationship and What factors lead to resentment in relationships and how to fix resentment in a relationship raises an important concern for most of the partners. So the question of what is resentment in relationships becomes relevant.
What is resentment in relationships?
When you are being mistreated and you feel neglected in relationships then resentment streaks in between the partners and reflects all negative emotions like anger, mistreatment, and disappointment. When hate replaces love, suspicion replaces trust, then relationships are seen as bondage, and for sure resentment sinks in the relationships,
What factors lead to resentment in relationships?
One must understand resentment doesn’t develop overnight it is an effect of a series of disappointments over time. To overcome resentment it’s important to understand what factors lead to resentment in relationships. let us discuss these factors in detail below.
1. Mistreatment
Mistreating your partner is one of the biggest signs of resentment in a relationship, shouting at your partner for no fault of theirs, always insulting, blaming, and shaming, your partner in front of others are some of the major factors that lead to resentment in a relationship. One must change this attitude if they want the relationship to survive.
2. Infidelity
Infidelity is the most common factor and one of the signs of resentment in a relationship, Betraying your partner’s trust and cheating on them is ethically and morally wrong and one must go by the relationship rules for the relationship to stay strong and last long.
3. Gaslighting
Gaslighting your partner, insulting their efforts, and Ignoring and devaluing them also leads to resentment.
Also Read: 10 Signs of Gaslighting in Relationships
4. Unrealistic expectations
When partners have Unrealistic expectations from the relationship that are impossible to achieve and are not fulfilled in a relationship, it leads to frustration, disappointment, and resentment in relationships. Be real, think real, feel real, live real.
5. Compatability issue
A successful relationship survives on various compatibility factors when people fail the compatibility test resentment in relationships follows.
Also Read: Relationship Compatibility – The Real Love Test
6. Not having a voice
Not being heard and not getting important in relationships can lead to resentment in any relationship, if one can’t express their views and thoughts in a relationship and is not valued in relationships then everything is pointless.
7. Different life goals
Different aspirations, interests, and life goals will lead to frequent confrontation, less time for each other, jealousy, unhealthy competition not many can handle, and will lead to resentment in relationships
8. Frequent arguments
Unfinished and frequent arguments are one of the major causes of resentment in relationships, though arguments happen in every relationship, immediately resolving and taking a step back on making a pointless point can reduce the ugly confrontation.
9. Patronizing behavior
Always imposing your thoughts and emotions on your partner and dominating them is one of the major factors that lead to resentment in relationships
Major signs of resentment in a relationship
1. Less communication
When partners avoid any one-to-one talk and do not try to communicate often and want to distance themselves from any discussion related to the relationship or otherwise then it signals that they are not comfortable opening up in relationships and signals signs of resentment in a relationship.
2. Not sexually active
If your partner rejects any sexual intimacy or gets irritated by any physical touch then for sure that person is angry or disturbed with something and feeling signs of resentful in a relationship. It is better to resolve the issue at the earliest as this behavior can lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship.
Also Read: Is Sexual Compatibility Important In a Relationship?
3. Recurring negative emotions
Reccuring negative emotions like anger, and bitterness, are common in every relationship but when they take an extremely dangerous turn and become unbearable then it will show signs of resentment in a relationship and the relationship is hit with all sorts of negative syndrome like the walkaway wife syndrome, Sudden divorce syndrome or walkaway spouse syndrome.
4. Doing the opposite
When resentment sinks in the relationship, they always do the opposite of what their partner is telling them to do to express their revolt, anger, and disagreement which signals signs of resentment in a relationship.
5. Unwanted loud sound
When someone is making annoying sounds like talking loudly to someone as if they want someone to listen to what they have to say, Banging the door, or Making loud utensils noise when working in the kitchen purposely are signs of some unfinished fights and signals signs of resentment in a relationship.
6. Playing the silent game
When your partner doesn’t respond to your answers, avoiding discussions and going mute for hours and days is a sign of resentment in a relationship.
7. Criticising behavior
When a partner resorts to criticism, sarcastic remarks, and aggressive behavior on every front for example criticizing your partner’s family, and friends, and deliberating targetting the things that are important to you like your hobby, clothes, and friendship circle then it is a signal that they are not happy in the relationship and feeling resentment in relationships.
8. Discussion problems with others
Rather than discussing the problems that arise in relationships with your partner, you start discussions with others then You no longer trust your partner, and this signals strong signs of resentment in a relationship.
9. Unwanted Comparison
When partners stop cherishing togetherness and start comparing their relationships with others and feel bad and start judging their partner then for sure they have fallen trapped to jealousy and signal signs of resentment in a relationship.
How to fix resentment in a relationship
1. Identify the root cause
When you start getting various signs of resentment in a relationship, immediate actions become necessary, one must understand every resentment has a strong root cause, and just identifying that exact root cause can make a way to rectify the flaws in relationships and both can work together for better relationships.
2. Restore the faith again
When you notice signs of resentment in a relationship, start giving more time to your partner, and understand what their aspirations, expectations, and needs are from the relationship. Learn from past experiences and mistakes, and work on restoring faith in relationships rather than overthinking in a relationship.
Also Read: How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship
3. Learn to forgive and say sorry
Sometimes all it takes is a simple sorry to put life back in a relationship and a simple forgiveness to restore faith and balance the relationship. One must not shy away from using these two magical words which will repel the signs of resentment in a relationship if any.
4. Be empathetic
Being empathetic, and compassionate, ignoring your partner’s flaws, and practicing gratitude can help the healing process repel any sign of resentment in a relationship and bring calmness to the relationships.
5. Watch your words and actions
Sometimes in a fit of rage, people resort to harsh words and extremely negative actions which lead to strong turbulence in a relationship, we need to get in control of our temperament, once you command it, you can control your words and actions and slowly any signs of resentment in a relationship or any grudge against your partner will fade and vanish.
6. Communicate your expectation
Tell your partner what you expect and feel about the relationship, discuss common life goals, and common interests, and regularly communicate with your partner, don’t shy away from taking any help from you which will surely eradicate any signs of resentment in a relationship.
7. Consider a joint therapy
Taking counseling sessions jointly can help identify the exact reason and behavioral patterns that cause resentment between the two partners and can collectively work and rectify the same.
Conclusion
Resentment can sneak into any relationship knowingly or unknowingly and impact the relationship drastically but that doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship will be ruined, it signals that both partners need to introspect and revisit the relationship equations regularly with improved efforts which can be fixed by identifying, the root cause and resolving it amicably and taking learning lessons from the past and patiently rebuilding the faith in relationships.
Q & A
Q1. Can you love and resent someone at the same time?
Where there is love there are expectations and where there are expectations a little bit of room for resentment will always be there but by identifying the root cause and rectifying it at the earliest we can minimize the resentment for sue.
Q2. How to stop setting unrealistic expectations in a relationship?
Unrealistic expectation is one of the major signs of resentment in a relationship but having regular reality checks in relationships will give you a logical answer as to whether your expectations are achievable or not and is the key to being in tune with reality.
Q3.Does resentment lead to divorce?
If the issues related to resentment are not discussed and addressed properly then the relationship can go through extreme turbulence and can also lead to divorce. So both partners must resolve the conflict collectively to save each other from the breakup trauma.
Q4. What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
The Walkaway wife syndrome is a term often used to describe the spouse, usually, the wife who decides to end marriage or relationship when felt unheard, neglected, or insulted.
Q5. Is resentment common in relationships?
Yes, very common, relationships have many variables and resentment is one of them, Those who make efforts to resolve and evolve, definitely come out with even stronger, and healthier bonds in relationships.
Q6 Are there any benefits of resentment?
No matter how weird it may sound, When you see signs of resentment in a relationship, consider it as an opportunity to communicate with your partner and defuse the tension that may arise, A few benefits are discussed below
- Resentment pushes one to stand for themselves and promote self-worth.
- Force you to Increase communications with your partner to clear out any misunderstandings and issues.
- Resentment gives you a reality check and also leads to introspect relationship equations.