Patronizing Behaviour or Condescending behaviour is when people think they are superior to the other and neglect their partner’s contribution to the relationship, its a form of abuse, neglect, Narcaccism personality disorder, belittling, Gasligtining, Patronizing attitude which constantly suppresses their partner’s feeling, thoughts, and come them to own up that they are wrong, not worthy enough which discourage them and lead to imposter syndrome which breaks the person emotionally and mentally, Identifying the signs of patronising behaviour in a relationship is important and should be dealt with extreme cautions if you want the relationship to survive.
10 signs of patronizing behaviour in relationships
1. They interpret you abruptly
They don’t respect your point of view, they interrupt you in the middle of the conversations and discourage you without listening to what you have to say, that’s a very humiliating form of patronizing behaviour which should not be ignored and confronted with.
2. Never appreciate you
Being appreciated and encouraged by your partner even for small work is more than a trophy and a sign of a healthy relationship, even after lots of hard work, if your partner doesn’t even acknowledge or say a few words of appreciation then absolutely they are showing signs of patronizing behaviour in relationships.
3. They make decisions for you or without your consent
When one takes you for granted and doesn’t even bother to take your advice or suggestion before making a big decision or even taking decisions for you without your consent is a sign of patronizing behaviour in a relationship. Decisions taken jointly are mostly right whereas otherwise they always end up in a disaster.
4. Calling you derogatory names or slang
One must behave with dignity and compassion with each other to make a relationship survive, but if one resorts to abusive and derogatory comments and slang for no reason then it signals that they are not empathetic towards your feelings and signals patronizing behaviour in a relationship. If the name shaming continues one must right away object and show discomfort which may lower and discourage these bad habits.
5. They think they are superior to you
Sometimes people self-crown themselves thinking they are supreme and above their partner without even having the ability to carry themselves like it, They live with a false impression which should be countered with a reality check by you to bring their feet to the ground or they will destroy themself with their arrogance.
6. They lack emotional intelligence
Patronising behaviour is evident when one cannot understand the emotional connection with their partner, Unnecessary acts to impress or show off in front of others without understanding the feeling of their partner sometimes leads to embracement and the other person doesn’t even realise that he is hurting someone.
7. They are impatient and bad listeners
If your partner jumps to a conclusion without listening or understanding your viewpoint then that’s an obvious sign of patronising behaviour in a relationship, It’s like they have already made up their mind about what to do and don’t care and don’t want to, listen what others have to say, fell or care.
8. They don’t take responsibility for their actions
Running away from responsibilities is a sign of weakness and incompetence which exposes their fake supremacy over the other, it signals that they are undeserving and trying to hide their drawbacks with their patronizing behaviour.
9. They Blame others for failure
When one is not ready to take responsibility for their actions or failures they start making excuses and blame others for their failure this behaviour is a clear sign of patronizing behaviour in the relationship and is very humiliating, One who cannot stand by their actions can never stand by you and relationships.
10. They are insecure
When people know about their incompetence and failures they tend to be insecure in their relationship and try to falsely impersonate themself better, to hide their failure compelling them to adopt patronising behaviour in relationships.
CONCLUSION
A Relationship is all about equality, not supremacy, Relationship is all about inclusiveness, not selfishness, Relationship is all about responsibilities, not negligence Relationship is all about existence not ignorance moreover relationship is all about love and respect and if you can’t have it then the purpose of being in a relationship is defeated, be considerate, loving, caring but never patronize, criticise, embarrass or make your partner uncomfortable because its negative impact is very deep which are hard to reverse.
Q&A
Q1. Is patronizing someone disrespectful?
Patronizing is a form of bullying, it can suppress a person’s freedom, and self-esteem and affect the mental state so much that it infuriates anger, and hatred in the relationship which is toxic and disrespectful.
Q2. What causes patronising behaviour?
The leading cause of patronising behaviour can be insecurity and arrogance, It leads them to behave in a certain way that gives way to negative relationships.
Q3. How do I stop patronising?
1. Give your partner time to rethink and re-evaluate their decisions, giving them valuable input.
2. Be helpful in situations rather than creating panic, which will eventually lower their anxiety and make them think without pressure, resulting in better decisions.
3. At times counter their hostile and insulting acts by making them realise their mistakes and consequences though it’s the most challenging task to do.
4. Understand the root cause of their patronising nature and discuss openly the implications it is having on the relationship.
5. Try to ignore and avoid patronising behaviour when the situation is calm, then talk freely about it which will save the unnecessary arguments and tension.
6. Keep the tone low and try not to react in front of others, talk it out when you are alone with your partner. It is more effortful then.
7. Be cautious in the selection of words, use powerful and positive words like we, our future, etc.
Q4. What is the grey rock method?
The grey rock method is a technique used by people in which they become ignorant and Unresponsive to people having abusive and patronizing behaviour so they lose interest in you which sometimes reduces the abuse and patronization.