Retroactive jealousy means feeling threatened by your partner’s past relationship, This is but natural, as a little bit of insecurity is normal and healthy, but extreme insecurity, vulnerability and constant comparison are toxic, retroactive Jealousy if not addressed with time it can also lead to extreme obsessions, mental trauma and can end relationships in a very abrupt way, Retroactive jealousy is common but one thankfully can overcome it, here How to get over retroactive jealousy.
How To Get Over Retroactive Jealousy
Accept the past
Acknowledging and Accepting the past is a better way to start fresh, You have to show maturity and the acceptance that what happened in the past is past, it should not affect our present and the focus should be on the future because overthink about the past relationships will only bring jealousy, insecurity in the current relationship well as if you accept the past, it lowers your anxiety level and gives you room to think toward a brighter future.
Also Read – How to stop overthinking in a relationship
Choose Empathy over confrontation
Take the fear head on, For once confront your partner about past relationships to clear your doubts, and reservations if any and finally crush the phobia with strong trust and empathy, rather than regular meaningless confrontations, Once the clarity and questions are answered then revive your relationship for the good rather than let jealousy ruin your relationship.
Share the feeling with your partner
Open Communication is essential when you are dealing with mixed feelings and retroactive jealousy, A healthy discussion can address the concerns and can also let partners interact about their relationships and move towards understanding and knowing each other better, In short, sharing the fear, having an open discussions and finally kick out the retroactive jealousy to an extent or completely is the way forward for a healthy relationship.
Ignore or Block social media access
Ignoring the temptation to spy around or inquire at the social media platformer or other medium is a far more mature way of getting over retroactive jealousy rather than blocking the social media access of your partner as today’s technologies cross you everywhere whether you like it or not, only this action can at lease limit the interactions and may be resulting in less communication of ex.
Stop Toxic Comparison
Every person and relationship is unique in its own way, so never compare yourself, your partner and your relationship with others, Never compare the past with the present, Because every time spent gives you new learning and a lot of experience which makes you more mature and experience in life, let’s understand that every situation and relationships are different and comparing will worsen the relationship even more and fuel jealousy which never adds value to a relationship.
Attention to more productive things
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, ignore the past and embrace the future, the retroactive jealousy pattern always ends up in breakups, To overcome and get out of this dilemma it is better to divert your energy, time and mind to more productive work or hobby which divert your mind to a more constructive though and will help you get out of the toxic zone.
Self-reflect
Put yourself in their place, everybody has a past which may or may not work for different reasons, still, they are trying to make a new beginning with their partner, and so is your mate, so self-reflect on the situations you and your partner are in and make a collective effort to develop a strong bond in the current relationship.
Talk to a counsellor or a therapist
If it’s hard to overcome the Retroactive jealousy behaviour then consulting a counsellor or a therapist is a good option, It can help you shift your focus and energy from the past dilemma to a more constructive approach towards life and relationships, and it will lower your anxiety level and make a relationship more healthy.
Conclusion
Experiencing Retroactive jealousy doesn’t make you a wrong person it shows you are concerned, over-possessive and want your relationship to be stronger But sometimes if we don’t address the feelings and be ignorant about it can lead to obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour which should be dealt with utmost cautious and seriousness, Make a shift from comparison to compassion, jealousy to intimacy and insecurity to purity, purity of love, faith, trust and companionship.
Q&A
Q1. Is Retroactive jealousy really OCD?
Yes, be it mild or too much, insecurities about the past of your partner, strain the relationships and in most cases lead to Retroactivity jealousy OCD.
Q2. Is Retroactive jealousy toxic?
Retroactive jealousy makes you feel anxious, worried, and stressed and ignites unwanted emotions, making the relationship toxic.
Q3. Is retroactive jealousy curable?
Of course yes, You just need to free yourself of all insecurities and work towards building confidence in the relationship, Counselling therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy and trauma-related psychotherapies to name a few can also help in dealing with your partner’s past life hysteria.
Q4. Is Retroactive jealousy depression?
If retroactive jealousy is not controlled and treated well, it can lead to mental health issues like depression and bipolar disorder.
Q5.Is Retroactive Jealousy Common?
Retroactive jealousy is fairly common in relationships, Mild retroactive jealousy is not a problem but extreme Retroactive jealousy can lead to an unhealthy relationship.